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Erasure: The Kingdom That Was Once Hers

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Jan. 7th, 2012 | 10:18 pm
posted by: wingedflight21 in erasureathon

Title: The Kingdom That Was Once Hers

Original text(s) erased: I Know The Voices Dying

Erased by: wingedflight21

Original text by: katakokk

Fandom (of original text): Chronicles of Narnia

Fandom (of erasure): n/a

Note: A visual representation can be found at the bottom of the post. (It's a simple one, and easiest to see if you click on the image to bring up the larger version). 


The entire world is a black expanse of


misfortune and pain

suffering tenfold

There are no walls.

The people descend into anarchy

screaming their destinies


She had commandeered the expansive land

felt complete control

drawn their lives out to the limit

            he had been different

A little island attempted to resist her might

rulers called upon their god

(she saw him killed)           


He doesn’t break to pieces right away

she disposes of his mother

flits through the trees

wears green like the forest

laughs at his naïveté


The whole land rots.

She digs underneath

from the loam roof to the very bedrock

She is reminded of a different world

blazing white and hard red charred over with fire

She draws them in

to bring about the demise of the beloved land


History repeats itself

She conveniently forgets

the Kingdom That Was Once Hers.


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Comments {5}



from: katakokk
date: Jan. 10th, 2012 10:06 pm (UTC)

OH MY GOODNESS. This is beautiful! I love, love, love how you've distilled this fic down, just taken a couple of short bits and pieced them together in a gorgeous, gorgeous way (and it's really interesting to see the visual representation as well, it really gives a sense of how much the fic was distilled down).

I really love the structural thing you have going with the indentations, they're almost like asides, like they're added on, except that they very much aren't. It's very cool! I don't usually do that much with overall visual look of the poem, so it's very awesome to see what you've done :)

And I absolutely adore the last line. So incredibly haunting and beautiful.


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from: wingedflight21
date: Jan. 11th, 2012 03:23 am (UTC)

Awwww I'm so glad you like it! I had a lot of fun pulling pieces out of your (gorgeous, by the way) fic. And the asides started as a way of separating ideas but then just became more of an interesting structure to the poem. So so so glad you like it! :)

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from: rthstewart
date: Jan. 12th, 2012 04:02 am (UTC)

Really lovely and a wonderful character study of the Lady of the Green Kirtle. Very well done!

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from: wingedflight21
date: Jan. 13th, 2012 10:21 pm (UTC)

Thank you! It was really neat how pulling out particular lines really created this deeper understanding of the character for me.

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from: lindaross
date: Nov. 24th, 2012 09:10 am (UTC)

so if you feel the urge! :)

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