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erasureathon

Erasure: The Kingdom That Was Once Hers

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Jan. 7th, 2012 | 10:18 pm
posted by: wingedflight21 in erasureathon

Title: The Kingdom That Was Once Hers

Original text(s) erased: I Know The Voices Dying

Erased by: wingedflight21

Original text by: katakokk

Fandom (of original text): Chronicles of Narnia

Fandom (of erasure): n/a

Note: A visual representation can be found at the bottom of the post. (It's a simple one, and easiest to see if you click on the image to bring up the larger version). 


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The entire world is a black expanse of

weeping

misfortune and pain

suffering tenfold

There are no walls.

The people descend into anarchy

screaming their destinies

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She had commandeered the expansive land

felt complete control

drawn their lives out to the limit

            he had been different

A little island attempted to resist her might

rulers called upon their god

(she saw him killed)           

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He doesn’t break to pieces right away

she disposes of his mother

flits through the trees

wears green like the forest

laughs at his naïveté

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The whole land rots.

She digs underneath

from the loam roof to the very bedrock

She is reminded of a different world

blazing white and hard red charred over with fire

She draws them in

to bring about the demise of the beloved land

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History repeats itself

She conveniently forgets

the Kingdom That Was Once Hers.

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Comments {5}

凯茜kathy~☆

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from: katakokk
date: Jan. 10th, 2012 10:06 pm (UTC)
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OH MY GOODNESS. This is beautiful! I love, love, love how you've distilled this fic down, just taken a couple of short bits and pieced them together in a gorgeous, gorgeous way (and it's really interesting to see the visual representation as well, it really gives a sense of how much the fic was distilled down).

I really love the structural thing you have going with the indentations, they're almost like asides, like they're added on, except that they very much aren't. It's very cool! I don't usually do that much with overall visual look of the poem, so it's very awesome to see what you've done :)

And I absolutely adore the last line. So incredibly haunting and beautiful.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, THIS IS AN AWESOME ERASURE.

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wingedflight21

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from: wingedflight21
date: Jan. 11th, 2012 03:23 am (UTC)
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Awwww I'm so glad you like it! I had a lot of fun pulling pieces out of your (gorgeous, by the way) fic. And the asides started as a way of separating ideas but then just became more of an interesting structure to the poem. So so so glad you like it! :)

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rthstewart

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from: rthstewart
date: Jan. 12th, 2012 04:02 am (UTC)
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Really lovely and a wonderful character study of the Lady of the Green Kirtle. Very well done!

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wingedflight21

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from: wingedflight21
date: Jan. 13th, 2012 10:21 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! It was really neat how pulling out particular lines really created this deeper understanding of the character for me.

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lindaross

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from: lindaross
date: Nov. 24th, 2012 09:10 am (UTC)
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so if you feel the urge! :)

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